Saturday 25 July 2020

A skelping for BoJo, a scalping for me

The big news in Orkney this week has been that I have finally had a haircut the visit of Boris Johnson, the UK Prime Minister, who journeyed to Scotland to try to bolster support for the UK Union. After a wonderfully sunny day on Wednesday, Thursday brought low cloud and persistent drizzle, meaning that visibility was very poor (a perfect metaphor for this visit and his premiership in general, perhaps?).

If the Tory leader (or his advisors) thought that travelling to a remote Scottish island would guarantee good media coverage i.e. carefully stage-managed PR stunts, they reckoned without the strength of feeling within the archipelago for the Government's handling of the pandemic response, Brexit, selling off the NHS, lowering of food standards, Black Lives Matter and, to a lesser extent, Scottish independence.

Here's a report from one of the local online news outlets.

It is generally accepted (I think that's fair to say), that the Scottish First Minister, Nicola Sturgeon, has done a much better job of leading her government's pandemic response compared to the UK Prime Minister. Some commentators have suggested that Boris Johnson visiting Scotland in the first place was a tacit admission of this fact.

Meanwhile, in my trivial hirsutes, these past four months have seen my hair grow to its longest ever. Yes, I know I was alive in the 60s and 70s, but the Tense bonce has never, ever, been this fleecy. Fortunately, all those pandemic-necessitated face coverings were also ideal for preventing the wool being pulled over my eyes.

Hairdressers were finally allowed to re-open in Scotland on July 15th, so I have been patiently counting down the days to my latest hair appointment. Thankfully, I no longer look like an evil purple Minion (though, to some extent, this may depend upon the lighting conditions).

Also before

I am glad to report that I once again feel comfortable in my own skin, though I doubt that the phone calls from cosmetics firms will be jamming the switchboard at Tense Towers.

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