Sunday 11 February 2018

Soft furnishings

I have to admit to a small and rather bijou rant the other day. You're probably wondering, "Can a rant be described as 'bijou'?" Please allow me to explain.

Picture the scene, if you will. A home, a lounge, a two-seater recliner. As they say, sofa, so good.

The seasoned observer will notice the two cushions on the right of the photograph. This is where I normally sit. If your thoughts have moved on to "Really?! Whilst he's not particularly macho, he doesn't sound like a soft furnishings kind of guy?" then award yourself a bonus point.

Continuing the explanation, I should also point out that Our Lass sits on the left, usually with the cushions, but when exiting said seat, the cushions mysteriously end up on 'my side'. Hmmmm.

If you've just heard several clicks, that'll be the sound of First and Second Born rolling their eyes upwards, as they know exactly where this is going.

Perhaps the situation would be better illustrated with a short demonstration? This is the furniture shop scene from an episode of the BBC sitcom 'Coupling', which neatly summarises the main characteristics of cushion rage. Whilst it does share some of my frustration, and a few expletives, it is very worth watching to the end.


Lucy Corrander Now in Halifax! said...

Cushions are very comfortable to squidge in half and lean one's shoulder or elbow against when watching TV.

Imperfect and Tense said...

Indeed, Lucy! My tongue was very firmly in my cheek whilst writing this post. And not to mention the hailstorm outside, which I didn't fancy braving for the remote chance of a wildlife encounter. In fact, our cushions have quite a natural history theme!

Spadger said...

Very funny - again!

Imperfect and Tense said...

To my mind, 'Coupling' was much more than just a British version of 'Friends'. It was always riskier, or maybe that should be more risque, with frequent forays into the surreal. The writer was Steven Moffat of Doctor Who and Sherlock fame.