Where's Baxter?

It's a question that is asked occasionally at Tense Towers, though not so much in a 'red and white striped bobble hat' sort of way.

In fact, when it was posited this morning, by Our Lass, the phrasing was along the lines of, "Don't be too keen to vacuum the floor, I've lost Baxter."

Now I'm guessing that there isn't a household in the land that doesn't have at least one phrase which is understood perfectly by the occupants, but which is complete gobbledegook to the rest of the population.

One of ours is Baxter. He's not a hamster, or any sort of pet, or even a tin of soup. To be honest, he's not a 'he', they're a 'they'.

It all began years ago, when Our Lass announced that she'd lost the backs to her earrings.

"Why are your earrings called Baxter?" I had, not unreasonably, asked. And it stuck.

Another Tensified phrase is Norma Wright, which is usually heard following questions like "Do you want another hot drink?" or "Can I give you a hand with that?"

But our all time favourite is the, possibly apochryphal, story told by the late Kenneth Williams, of a book signing where the author asks a lady who should the dedication be made out to. The reply is Emma Chizzit, so a dedication to Emma is duly written in a book and handed over. The indignant lady asks, "What's this?! I only wanted to know how much is it?"