Wednesday 15 January 2014

Life of Pi...

A week or two ago, I discovered something about Our Lass that shocked and stunned me.

We had just driven into a car park by the marina in Kirkwall, and to be honest, my mind was simply reeling from finding a free space. Then, without any warning, Our Lass suddenly blurted out "Do you know what I really fancy right now?"

I looked at her, dumbfounded, my thoughts racing.

"A Scotch pie," she murmured.

I was taken aback. As they say, my flabber had never been so ghasted.

"Not just any pie, then?" I asked.

"A Scotch pie," she repeated.

Ee, you know someone (well, you think you know someone) for thirty odd years and then they come out with a thing like that.

Now, to me, a pie's a pie, so I had to ask what defined said savoury delicacy as the Scotch variety, as opposed to just a normal pie.

"Oh, the normal one's are Melton Mowbray pies," Our Lass replied.

At this low emotional ebb, I foolishly asked if there was any other pies I should know about.

"Well, the ones with the egg in the middle are Gala pies, " she said, matter-of-factly. 

"Will you stop naming pies!" I cried, shaken by the sudden vast culinary knowledge that my nearest and dearest was exhibiting for meat and pastry-based products.

It was truly unnerving. You see, we're all quite partial to a pie now and again, in the Tense clan, but not one of us has ever professed a knowledge of pie nomenclature that would allow them to make use of it as a specialist subject on Mastermind.

So why here, why now?

Today, I think I discovered the reason.

At lunchtime, I was listening to the radio. A news and discussion programme was being broadcast by BBC Scotland and one particular article grabbed my attention.

It was about pies. Not just any pies. Scotch pies.

For today, the Scotch Pie Club announced the winner of the 2014 World Scotch Pie Championship. 

Yes, really.

And, no, it wasn't Our Lass. She's more interested in the consuming aspect of pies, rather than the whole 'slaving over a hot stove' gig.

Well-deserved congratulations to Stephen McAllister of The Kandy Bar!

So what did we have for tea* tonight?

And they say romance is dead.

Probably from clogged arteries.

* Translation for southerners, 'dinner'


holdingmoments said...

Had me chuckling there.
You can't go that far up norf and not have a Scotch Pie. Lovely.

And the last picture; I'm a little concerned. Do tell me that is just the starter?

Imperfect and Tense said...

Keith, it's a whole new world, this pie malarkey.
The last picture is factually accurate, I'm afraid, no augmentation or manipulation. It's a response to over-consumption during the festive period. But not to worry, there's still a Stollen left in the pantry!

Martin said...

But the biggest question is what is in a Scotch Pie? Are there Haggi? Venison? Skuas? Englishmen? Whatever it looks good, along with a little gravy of some form.

Imperfect and Tense said...

Martin, once upon a time, if you were looking for a named meat product, pies would not be the first choice! I think they're beef these days, but don't hope for big percentage numbers in the ingredients. Additionally, one of the listed ingredients is beef sinew. Is this mass-produced mechanical recovery gone mad or just a sensible green method of using as much of the animal as possible to reduce waste? Our meal did not include gravy on this occasion, we opted for a piquant jus de pois :o)