"I have hailstones in my slippers."
Ah, the syzygy of heartfelt concern for a cat, a sudden hailstorm and the opening of a front door... it could only be our good friend Sian, from Life on a Small Island blog.
Now, if Orkney can be relied upon for weather (and believe me, it can), one of its more consistent features is its inconsistency, the changeability of said meteorology. We might have extremes, indeed wildly swinging extremes, but never for very long. So, it has been a little unnerving for the inhabitants of the archipelago to be subjected to weeks of the same sort of weather.
OK, you will have had your Ciaras and your Dennises (Dennii?), so far so traumatic, yet weirdly, these storms did not impact unusually upon Orkney. In UK terms, we got off lightly, with winds which barely registered above normal for these parts. However, this weekend, we have experienced gales measured, in places, well above 100mph, accompanied by thunder, lightning and hailstones. Hence Sian's icy footwear.
We had been wondering when Winter would show up, now we know.
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| Hail on window at Tense Towers |
Obviously, weather such as this, affecting only a small proportion of the UK, doesn't have an official name. Why would a storm moniker be wasted upon such a trifling area? This reminded me of a snippet sent to me by Second Born, which is from a James Robertson book, 365 Stories:
The News Where You Are
That’s all from us. Now it’s time for the news where you are.
The news where you are comes after the news where we are. The news where we are is the news. It comes first. The news where you are is the news where you are. It comes after. We do not have the news where you are.
The news where you are may be news to you but it is not news to us.
The news may be international, national or regional. The news where we are may be international news. The news where you are is never international news. Where you are is not international. The news where you are comes after the international and national news.
The news where you are may be national news or regional news. However, national news where you are is not national news where we are. It is the news where you are.
If the news where you are is national news it is only national where you are.
The news where we are is national wherever you are.
On Saturdays, there is no news where you are after the news where we are. In fact there is no news where you are on Saturdays. Any news there is, is not where you are. It is where we are. If there is news where you are but not where we are it will wait until Sunday.
After the news where you are comes the weather.
The weather where you are is not the national weather. The weather where you are comes after the news where you are, and after the weather where you are comes the national weather. Do not confuse the national weather with the weather where you are. The weather where you are comes first but is lesser weather than the national weather.
Extreme weather is news. However, weather that is more extreme where you are than where we are is not news. Weather that is extreme where we are is news, even if extreme weather where we are is only average weather where you are.
On average, weather where you are is more extreme than weather where we are.
Tough shit.
Good night.
Which just about sums it up perfectly.
Coincidentally, at least I hope it was coincidentally, I recently revisited Duran Duran's Rio album from the early 1980s. With all the meteorological stuff buzzing about in my head, the opening lines from Hold Back The Rain rang rather true:
We're miles away from nowhere
And the wind doesn't have a name
So call it what you want to call it
Still blows down the lane
And the wind doesn't have a name
So call it what you want to call it
Still blows down the lane
For a bit of local context, older Orcadians can still recall what would today be tabloid-termed a 'Year from Hell'. Whilst strictly more of a 13 month period in 1952 and 1953 (apologies for my pedantry), the reports are harrowing and a flavour of the time can be found in several pages on the About Orkney website, here and here.
I cannot step aboard a ferry these days, including the latest incarnation of the SS Earl Thorfinn, without thinking of the horrendous conditions experienced by the crew on their unscheduled journey to Aberdeen.
4 comments:
I don't even think you would be fixing satelite dishes with the wind ratcheting up the beaufort scale to 135mph! As a side note my sister was a Duranie in the Eighties I secretly liked some songs but would never aknowledge as I was strictly Heavy Rock at the time. Happy days.
Lol, it was a week of indoor work, where possible. Now the wind's lessened a bit, I keep checking the view across Scapa Flow in case Simon Le Bon's yacht shows up...
Having first read The News Where You Are back in January, it still sticks with me and makes me chuckles several times a week.
Life where you are is not like life where I am, at least not at the moment. Tough shit, sadly.
p.s. catching up on the blog!
Martin, until we caught up with Second Born in Inverness in March, I had been blithely unaware that as part of Celtic Connections 2020 there was a musical component to the 365 days project.
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