But, no, I'm serious... bananas!
This bunch were just being unpacked, on their way to the fruit bowl, after I had a trip into town to purchase a few comestibles.
Seems like I got a bargain, as there was a wee free gift with this bunch...
Not being too sure what it was (insect pupa/spider egg sac), or where in the journey it might have originated (Colombia/UK/Orkney/anywhere in between), I decided to contact a local expert... local to Orkney, I mean.
I could've predicted her reaction...
"Can I have it?"
As I was only too happy to not have it, after taking a few more photographs, I jumped into my car with said banana and delivered it over to L's place. I may have glanced nervously at the banana a few times during the trip.
So, I'm not sure how pale and ashen my appearance was when she answered the knock on her door, but her opening gambit did quickly bring back some colour to my cheeks.
Just what is the appropriate language for a banana and egg exchange?!
I am assuming that the black bits are frass left behind by either the spider or maybe a parasitic insect, so who knows what's in there? Well, we will see. L will box up the egg sac to see if anything has survived the journey and so might hatch out.
Watch this space...
And, yes, I am very hoping that the mum-to-be isn't lurking in the boot of my car or somewhere in our kitchen!
In the interests of preserving the sanity of any arachnophobes reading this post, I haven't put in any links to pictures of spiders, Brazilian Wandering ones or otherwise. Also, on other grounds, I would caution against an internet search for 'four hour erection'.