It would seem that I have a decision to make.
For the last few years, I have felt a growing sense of unease that where I had placed my faith and trust, for just about the whole of my adult life, was no longer the sanctuary of hopes and dreams I had once thought it to be.
Things began to change in 2010, the relationship shifted markedly and it would be an understatement to say that I wasn't happy with the way things were heading. But thinking of times past, it's difficult to just say enough is enough, that's it, I'm outta here. So the relationship lumbered along, as they often do, I guess, with one unhappy party biting their tongue and wishing that things might improve.
Likelihood? Pretty slim, if I'm honest.
Naive on my part? Not a given, but hope has become a toxic currency.
Yes, it would seem that I have a decision to make.
The move to Orkney, whilst not principally a trial separation, had the effect of one. And things deteriorated further towards an irrevocable breakdown. I did try to make myself more understood last year, setting out my hopes on paper (I just find it easier to put my thoughts in order this way, less chance of misunderstandings). But my words were unheeded and a response was not forthcoming.
If I had to put a date on it, I would say that was when my head started to turn. I still feel an amount of guilt about that, but heaven knows why. It wasn't me that brought another into the relationship. Sometimes actions carried out for the best of reasons can have disastrous consequences. I certainly think so, in this case.
The past and its history must be left behind and a fresh start made. I have a decision to make.
As light relief, though it's not very light and even less relief, I had a ranty internal monologue with myself about televised election debates, their merits (or not) and the current debacle in the UK. For me, TV debates are an excuse for a shouty, negativity-driven interrupt-athon, where precious little sense is made and nothing of substance is learnt. They are, in my opinion, a poor forum for the electorate to be able to make an informed choice.
A better solution emerged during the Independence Referendum last September, using the medium of radio and a set of listeners' questions which were given to the panel beforehand. Each member of the panel then recorded their answers, which were then broadcast. This system immediately solved the problem of interruptions and negativity, as the panel members had to concentrate upon the positive aspects of their own campaign, rather than shouting over the opinions held by the others.
Or, perhaps, if it had to be a TV debate, it could take the form of the quiz Mastermind, with the spotlight upon the occupant of the big black chair at least guaranteeing silence from the other panel members. With a first round of five minutes of specialist subject questioning on their own party's policies and then a second round of a further five minutes on general electioneering, that should give seven parties an equal chance to shine, or crash and burn, in a 90 minute broadcast slot.
But if we end up with the usual rude-fest, at least give the host a yellow and red card and the freedom to send panel members for an early bath if they step out of line. I can also think of some amusing uses for a can of vanishing spray.
So, before I descend further into anarchy... my decision.
Am I to continue as a disgruntled LibDem voter, after five years of propping up a Conservative government that hilariously called itself the 'greenest government ever'? Or should I reassess my whole engagement with UK politics. Well, there are several websites that offer to help with making up your mind, looking at policies, not personalities, and steering the undecided towards the party that most meets their aspirations.
I had blithely expected to be labelled as a Green, as, to quote Lord Byron, "I love not man the less, but Nature more". Sadly, this was not going to make my decision any easier, as there's not a Green candidate for Orkney this time around (but there will be come the elections for the Scottish Parliament next year). However, that worry evaporated almost as quickly as several pledges in the Vow, as the results showed that I am aligned more with the SNP.
It would appear that I am drawn towards strong female leaders, which is rather appropriate for International Women's Day.