Friday 15 March 2013

Not over and out

It had been an ordinary day in an unremarkable week. Routine after routine washed through the hours in sympathy with the squalls of rain falling from a grey sky. Now, driving home from work along the pot-holed ribbon of tarmac that was my daily commute, my mind wandered on auto-pilot, dwelling upon some inconsequential thought to stave off the acknowledgement of a life in a rut.

Perhaps this was why my guard was down? The mundanity of it all seeped into my soul and an unfeeling fog masked my senses. It left me defenceless and totally unprepared for Fate's next roll of the dice.

As the queue of traffic inched slowly forward towards the traffic lights in the centre of town, a familiar face appeared on the other side of the road. Eyes met, recognition dawned, a shared history played in fast forward through my mind. Tongue-tied, too slow to speak, the moment gone. I watched, enthralled, as the vision of beauty disappeared from my view, a last glance in my door mirror and... gone. How would it have been possible to say the words that resided in my heart? Would it have been appropriate to voice those feelings? After all, we were both with other partners now. It would be very wrong and yet... 

The decision had been mine, I had thought it was for the best. So long ago. But even now I know there's not a day gone by when I haven't thought about him.

Yes... him.

Don't be shocked, you must've known. Have you not seen it in my eyes? The hesitation of wondering whether I'd done the right thing in calling it off. The occasional lack of loyalty to a new partner. All these thoughts, and more, surfaced in a rush. Was he happy now? Did he ever think of me? Jeez, have I really not moved on? He looked well, which pleased me greatly. More than I could've expected. Damn! This isn't the way I wanted to tell you, but perhaps it is fitting.

Sometimes a car can really get under your skin. Taffy the truck, I miss you, you great lump of rust, rattles and reminiscences. May your essential Series 2 Discovery-ness live on forever.

7 comments:

Ruth Walker said...

Oh Dad! Sniff...I miss Taffy too xxx

Imperfect and Tense said...

Well, that was a slightly better response than I received from yer ma. Fortunately, her weapon of choice was a pillow :o)

Capt. Sundial said...

How many boxes of tissues?

Imperfect and Tense said...

SWMBO did remark that it was almost romantic!

Martin said...

Family relations might suggest giving the answer in the middle of the story to avoid adult angst...
I was going with a rare bird though that decided not to stop for a chat! Be thankful the old partner is still up and running and enjoying a second wind.

Imperfect and Tense said...

Keeps 'em on their toes :o)

Tales of a Bank Vole said...

Un-articulated speach of the heart?

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